31.12.06
year is almost over, in less than 5 hours. wonder why we humans have a way of making a big deal out of just another day? why do we go "hey we should think about where our lives are at during this period of time, and think about what we want for next year, what we hope and dream to achieve?"
the truth is, we probably do it all the time, and the thinking never really ceases. it just so happens that our society puts so much emphasis on such a date that we almost feel obliged to think about stuff, about mortality. or about becoming invincible...haha
it's also a great excuse to roll this whole big ball of thought down the hill...a bit like rolling those cylindrical haystacks down freshly cut wheat fields. what a moment of release - i have thought bout it...i'd work on the farm, then harvest the hay, bundle it up...and roll it down the freaking hill for the hell of it! or i could just jump the barbed wire fence to do so whilst driving past a farming area. simple pleasures...i keep just thinking about it...
amongst all the muddled brain etcetera, this year has been good. wonder if everyone thinks this way. try to look at even bad things in positive, afterglow light. it's a nice perspective to have sometimes.
do i wish some things were different? yeap. definitely. there are eternal puzzles of things through this year and previous years that i keep coming back and thinking about, with no real need to solve the issue other than for - well, the hell of it, because it's so long ago it's probably not worth killing braincells over. my brutal honesty seems to be a recurring theme.
i sometimes also just sit on the fence too much.
i am afraid of rejection. when you're in a relationship, rejection is something you don't usually think much about, mainly because even if the whole world is against you, there is someone on your side cheering you on. and rejection doesn't hurt much when you don't expect anything from other people because someone else's got your back. it's a lovely thing, relationships. it makes me sometimes too dependent on others. this i would like to change.
i've always been a person with a heart of a very naive kid with the brain of a hundred year old, and both usually never agree. i want balance. i want to do this one thing i've never ever had to do. everyone provides for you when you're the youngest. people think you must be the most independent as a person to be such a risk taker in life. but you know deep inside that you are only able to take the chances you do because someone's gonna save you if you screw up as a younger kid. what a confident and bold fascade. it is a fantasy. i am not as unafraid as one thinks. i just know, and have not had issues with, being provided for.
i hope to be in the position to be able to provide for people other than myself.
happy new year to all!
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the truth is, we probably do it all the time, and the thinking never really ceases. it just so happens that our society puts so much emphasis on such a date that we almost feel obliged to think about stuff, about mortality. or about becoming invincible...haha
it's also a great excuse to roll this whole big ball of thought down the hill...a bit like rolling those cylindrical haystacks down freshly cut wheat fields. what a moment of release - i have thought bout it...i'd work on the farm, then harvest the hay, bundle it up...and roll it down the freaking hill for the hell of it! or i could just jump the barbed wire fence to do so whilst driving past a farming area. simple pleasures...i keep just thinking about it...
amongst all the muddled brain etcetera, this year has been good. wonder if everyone thinks this way. try to look at even bad things in positive, afterglow light. it's a nice perspective to have sometimes.
do i wish some things were different? yeap. definitely. there are eternal puzzles of things through this year and previous years that i keep coming back and thinking about, with no real need to solve the issue other than for - well, the hell of it, because it's so long ago it's probably not worth killing braincells over. my brutal honesty seems to be a recurring theme.
i sometimes also just sit on the fence too much.
i am afraid of rejection. when you're in a relationship, rejection is something you don't usually think much about, mainly because even if the whole world is against you, there is someone on your side cheering you on. and rejection doesn't hurt much when you don't expect anything from other people because someone else's got your back. it's a lovely thing, relationships. it makes me sometimes too dependent on others. this i would like to change.
i've always been a person with a heart of a very naive kid with the brain of a hundred year old, and both usually never agree. i want balance. i want to do this one thing i've never ever had to do. everyone provides for you when you're the youngest. people think you must be the most independent as a person to be such a risk taker in life. but you know deep inside that you are only able to take the chances you do because someone's gonna save you if you screw up as a younger kid. what a confident and bold fascade. it is a fantasy. i am not as unafraid as one thinks. i just know, and have not had issues with, being provided for.
i hope to be in the position to be able to provide for people other than myself.
happy new year to all!
Post a Comment