29.4.06
faces. faces. faces
had alot of smoking last night, to the point where i didn't feel so good after. ken's friends were having a birthday celebration and i hadn't gone out of my cave to enjoy myself so instead of feeling awkward i started smoking there.
saw a beautiful venetian mask that denise owns. i was totally seduced and again found myself needing to do it. how long was i going to keep spending talking about dreaming of making masks if i never was going to execute it?
i had a strange dream when i got home and hit the bed.
i dreamt it was just before a show and i had to put on stage make up and i squeezed in a small amount of foundation and began to apply on my face with my fingertips. the foundation spread, and spread, and as i put small portions on, i realised there was alot more make up on my face than there was foundation i originally squeezed out. the whole dream was me, applying my foundation and ending up always applying too much...starting again, and still applying too much.
i could say the dream is trying to tell me how to get into the next production for pheonix next week, i could say i just need to stop trying to apply myself to things too much or something dramatic and mystic like that. (i went to that play reading and it felt like the director already picked his favourites, and i wasn't one of them...) that was the first reason i got so upset. it's very confronting when they make it obvious like that. but i will still go and audition. if they had completely decided they won't bother holding more auditions 'in case' they missed someone, so let them give me 10 min of their time and i will fucking audition for them.
guess i could blame the excessive tar/tobacco inhalation, nicotine poisoning and what-not on my strange dream. and i do, partly. but maybe since i'm not getting any parts in productions, maybe i should stop a little and go onto my other love: masks.
first i need paints, and glue. then a mickey knife.
I've been having a bout of distinctive dreams again lately...
From wandering around discovering things in foreign cities, to hair growth. Ugh I think if I tried to work out what they all meant, I'd go crazy. =\
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saw a beautiful venetian mask that denise owns. i was totally seduced and again found myself needing to do it. how long was i going to keep spending talking about dreaming of making masks if i never was going to execute it?
i had a strange dream when i got home and hit the bed.
i dreamt it was just before a show and i had to put on stage make up and i squeezed in a small amount of foundation and began to apply on my face with my fingertips. the foundation spread, and spread, and as i put small portions on, i realised there was alot more make up on my face than there was foundation i originally squeezed out. the whole dream was me, applying my foundation and ending up always applying too much...starting again, and still applying too much.
i could say the dream is trying to tell me how to get into the next production for pheonix next week, i could say i just need to stop trying to apply myself to things too much or something dramatic and mystic like that. (i went to that play reading and it felt like the director already picked his favourites, and i wasn't one of them...) that was the first reason i got so upset. it's very confronting when they make it obvious like that. but i will still go and audition. if they had completely decided they won't bother holding more auditions 'in case' they missed someone, so let them give me 10 min of their time and i will fucking audition for them.
guess i could blame the excessive tar/tobacco inhalation, nicotine poisoning and what-not on my strange dream. and i do, partly. but maybe since i'm not getting any parts in productions, maybe i should stop a little and go onto my other love: masks.
first i need paints, and glue. then a mickey knife.
I've been having a bout of distinctive dreams again lately...
From wandering around discovering things in foreign cities, to hair growth. Ugh I think if I tried to work out what they all meant, I'd go crazy. =\
Post a Comment