apple?

had alot of smoking last night, to the point where i didn't feel so good after. ken's friends were having a birthday celebration and i hadn't gone out of my cave to enjoy myself so instead of feeling awkward i started smoking there.

saw a beautiful venetian mask that denise owns. i was totally seduced and again found myself needing to do it. how long was i going to keep spending talking about dreaming of making masks if i never was going to execute it?

i had a strange dream when i got home and hit the bed.

i dreamt it was just before a show and i had to put on stage make up and i squeezed in a small amount of foundation and began to apply on my face with my fingertips. the foundation spread, and spread, and as i put small portions on, i realised there was alot more make up on my face than there was foundation i originally squeezed out. the whole dream was me, applying my foundation and ending up always applying too much...starting again, and still applying too much.

i could say the dream is trying to tell me how to get into the next production for pheonix next week, i could say i just need to stop trying to apply myself to things too much or something dramatic and mystic like that. (i went to that play reading and it felt like the director already picked his favourites, and i wasn't one of them...) that was the first reason i got so upset. it's very confronting when they make it obvious like that. but i will still go and audition. if they had completely decided they won't bother holding more auditions 'in case' they missed someone, so let them give me 10 min of their time and i will fucking audition for them.

guess i could blame the excessive tar/tobacco inhalation, nicotine poisoning and what-not on my strange dream. and i do, partly. but maybe since i'm not getting any parts in productions, maybe i should stop a little and go onto my other love: masks.

first i need paints, and glue. then a mickey knife.

big HUG n congrats to my cuz NI on her new role as a program manager at the bill gates empire!!!!

in other news: i'm now officially $1000 in debt. i loathe being a debtor. continuing acting classes now look something more like a dot in the distant horizon on a dusky winter's evening. i have confirmed "the" ski trip (technically a snowboard trip, but who calls it that?). varekai is off. and i am so sad that i will miss it. i dont think the ski trip is worth more than varekai. i would do almost anything to go...

play reading tonight - a preparation for the audition next week. in order to keep acting and stay sane, i must get a role. but then, who said staying sane was on my agenda? i'm going psycho from being damn-hell-ass poor because i'm only raking in measly amounts of money (though, working 3 days a week does have its perks)

i will attempt to secure a full-time hours. anyone with a cafe wanting a barista holla back.

the ad thing got sorted. the incompetent accounts team was to blame (obviously their firm, not ours). they "forgot" that we were in fact in credit! omg.

meeting up with ian in a couple of hours. shall be good to catch up. i love catching up with pplz...

wtf is wrong with people who are asking to be paid but not trying to get money?

to be completely unprofessional and all, i will reveal the whole story leaving the parties anon. just to cover my ass. but anyone who knows me knows roughly where i work and what i do...so it can't be that hard to figure out.

i talk to this person from advertising sales (now on referred to as "ass") to put up an ad in the publication. we deliberate over a week over the price, pages, size of the ad, and come up with a conclusion. one that earns him a good commission and gives me the page that is acceptable (coz i got screwed over last time).

all is well, i send through the drafts, he calls me back telling me my account is overdue. i go "huh?" and tried to call him back. no replies. the overdue amount is 300 bucks over my quoted price, so of course i don't go direct to accounts, i go back to him and ask him why. conveniently he's not there for the rest of the afternoon. so he basically froze my ad that's meant to go to print next week, and fails to get back to me for the rest of the day after telling me in simpler terms that "i'm screwing with you again".

ok. fine. life happens. i can understand that sometimes figures and things get confused.

but if my account is overdue enough to have it frozen, i would like to have received at least an invoice (standard tends to be first notice, second notice, final notice with red bold type). a phone call asking me to pay, or to hand in a form if my accounts department hadn't. maybe an email. but no, for the past month, they have been twiddling their thumbs not bothering, and forgot completely to talk to me and tell me to pay up, and now trying to make it my problem.

i'd love to, at this juncture, to tell you the name of the ass i was dealing with. but i wont.

but it does go to show just how much some people can try to get away with...i'm looking into how i can screw his ass over if he pulls this on me again.

i have again found myself dodging the effects of natural disaster by a matter of days.

having left port douglas last sunday, monica has brought torrential rains causing several major road blockages around the cairns/port douglas area. and to those who haven't been up there, there are only several major roads in this region. ie. you are up there, you're stuck there. no wandering in daintree, rain pissing down like anything...

i must say i do remain lucky. we were this close to booking the holiday during the easter week, and thank god we didn't.


in other news, went to see the self-portrait and archibald wynne and sulman prize exhibitions at the art gallery today. a much needed dose of brain food. it's still being processed...

and all of a sudden, i'm thinking too much again. self-sabotage is not uncommon...need to get this demon off my back.

i introduce you to my favouritest oggle factor place on this earth:

voguetraders: cubic zirconia jewellery - the stuff that really sparkles! the stuff that looks better than the polished up photos! the stuff that can bring on that jaw-drop factor to those who walk by...(how to keep their gaze or sustain their envy, i leave up to you)

to cynics out there (i was one of them, until i saw the pieces in person), here's a pic of one of the pretties i currently own:

when you have my sister's taste, you know the shop only has the classiest, prettiest, stylish, up-to-date stuff (oh, that, and gorgeous retro pieces too!).

discount/recommendations...? drop me a line :D

loved the trip...honestly i don't know how else to describe it...aside from the big WET and RAINY!!! marvellous 7 days...and i bring you...some selected pics...

beaching at port douglas - blue bottle season. what you see is not what you get...can't swim in the water except for a very SMALL area where you pay to sit on hired beach chairs...of course, we're waaay too smart to do that, and ended up with wet towels.

photos, as taken from cindy's site...but with captions!

just a brief recap, we all drove up to jub's house last friday, and played some awesome boardgames....so awesome, that we forgot all about photos, and main ones below are taken of the morning after...

after the whole tuesday and 3 hours on thursday night of hand sewing, the "al-O-genic dog" has a graduation outfit, ready to model for kenny's graduation tomorrow morning...