28.2.06
i'm a skank. it's official.
anywho, opening night of our week of performances was...nice...i'm not sure, but the artistic director loved our work, though it's a bit of a mixed audience because they weren't sure to clap or not etc...feel good, i'm doing what i'm there to do...some people interacted with me. which was great!
ok, back to the abbey the skank story. so naturally to do a show, you must have make up on. and to do makeup, you need a makeup area. newtown theatre is not "the" ideal space for a big group of actors, and lighting isn't great when it comes to make up. it's basically dim lighting. i have a choice. i do my stage make up at home and drive in, or i do it in front of other people at a pub opposite the venue. i thought it was a good idea to do my make up at home, and drive out. i was wrong.
so i had make up on (ok, a bit more than normal but less than those alanah hill sales girls), in casual top and loose jeans, and walked into the elevator. at 7:45pm, most people would have gone home, been eating dinner and contently watching some FTA tv. but no, i had to stop at level 11, and level 10...where a mainland fob grandma and her 2 very average teenage grandkids gave me the "you poor thing, you look like a clown and you don't even know it" look. (was it really a grandma, or did she just look that old...? i wasn't sure)
looks i am happy to take. looks happen all the time. i don't mind so much. old grandma here, while i wasn't quite looking, spoke in clear mando, commenting on "what a shame it is that she's wearing that kind of make up" and condescending giggling at me. the girl followed suit, because she, was a thing of class and beauty herself. the guy didn't seem to give a shit. i turned around as if i didn't understand the grandma, and she smiled at me as if she was actually a nice person, and had the nerve to maintain eye contact, and i smiled back in that asian innocent way, up until it was long enough for her to realise that i understood every word she said.
no shame. she was right. i was made up like a skank. because stage make up always looks skanky in normal light. it looks like someone took a liberal stroke of the artistic brush and went all eager.
see, i wasn't sure if i should try to explain myself. i'm not a skank. this is just for stage, and i am on my way to the car to drive there so there'll be no one else staring at me, i'm sorry i offended your eyes...so sorry, so sorry won't happen again.
if it was the girl making the comment, i'd tell her off (just coz i can, and she wouldn't be expecting it). tell her she had a bad upbringing, a mum who didn't teach her manners, you don't say mean things about people. but i was dumbfounded when it's the elder teaching the young to behave that way. then you realise that sometimes you do blame the parents...
and i was getting insecure, thinking i must be a skank look-alike. once i got to newtown, in that pub where all the actors were doing makeup, costume, and i was greeted by all the cross dressers in the other plays, everyone with lots of make up...i was home. all the public who went to that pub KNEW why we were all dressed the way we were, and looked the way we were. it was unspoken, and we were treated normal. er....because we ARE normal. we're not normally like this ya know!
note to self: people are much more open and better in newtown than chatswood.
but then i already knew that. i just happen to be stuck in chatswood.
anywho, opening night of our week of performances was...nice...i'm not sure, but the artistic director loved our work, though it's a bit of a mixed audience because they weren't sure to clap or not etc...feel good, i'm doing what i'm there to do...some people interacted with me. which was great!
ok, back to the abbey the skank story. so naturally to do a show, you must have make up on. and to do makeup, you need a makeup area. newtown theatre is not "the" ideal space for a big group of actors, and lighting isn't great when it comes to make up. it's basically dim lighting. i have a choice. i do my stage make up at home and drive in, or i do it in front of other people at a pub opposite the venue. i thought it was a good idea to do my make up at home, and drive out. i was wrong.
so i had make up on (ok, a bit more than normal but less than those alanah hill sales girls), in casual top and loose jeans, and walked into the elevator. at 7:45pm, most people would have gone home, been eating dinner and contently watching some FTA tv. but no, i had to stop at level 11, and level 10...where a mainland fob grandma and her 2 very average teenage grandkids gave me the "you poor thing, you look like a clown and you don't even know it" look. (was it really a grandma, or did she just look that old...? i wasn't sure)
looks i am happy to take. looks happen all the time. i don't mind so much. old grandma here, while i wasn't quite looking, spoke in clear mando, commenting on "what a shame it is that she's wearing that kind of make up" and condescending giggling at me. the girl followed suit, because she, was a thing of class and beauty herself. the guy didn't seem to give a shit. i turned around as if i didn't understand the grandma, and she smiled at me as if she was actually a nice person, and had the nerve to maintain eye contact, and i smiled back in that asian innocent way, up until it was long enough for her to realise that i understood every word she said.
no shame. she was right. i was made up like a skank. because stage make up always looks skanky in normal light. it looks like someone took a liberal stroke of the artistic brush and went all eager.
see, i wasn't sure if i should try to explain myself. i'm not a skank. this is just for stage, and i am on my way to the car to drive there so there'll be no one else staring at me, i'm sorry i offended your eyes...so sorry, so sorry won't happen again.
if it was the girl making the comment, i'd tell her off (just coz i can, and she wouldn't be expecting it). tell her she had a bad upbringing, a mum who didn't teach her manners, you don't say mean things about people. but i was dumbfounded when it's the elder teaching the young to behave that way. then you realise that sometimes you do blame the parents...
and i was getting insecure, thinking i must be a skank look-alike. once i got to newtown, in that pub where all the actors were doing makeup, costume, and i was greeted by all the cross dressers in the other plays, everyone with lots of make up...i was home. all the public who went to that pub KNEW why we were all dressed the way we were, and looked the way we were. it was unspoken, and we were treated normal. er....because we ARE normal. we're not normally like this ya know!
note to self: people are much more open and better in newtown than chatswood.
but then i already knew that. i just happen to be stuck in chatswood.
26.2.06
it's been a long while since i last frequently posted. it seems that life is moving on, plodding along, and good things are happening to me. and everytime this happens i feel sad, because there aren't many people i have been able to share this with. i feel sad because i can't tell people great news, because i've buried myself so far into doing what needs to be done and pushing too many things aside for it. a part of me feels alienated in my sense of "happiness" and busy-ness.
the 3 bruises on my knee now combine to look like an image of a ghost's face peering at me. it hurts to fall repeatedly :( i wish i can consistently do good falls.
and yessiree, i did get a marketing job. it's in chatswood, so derek, no more of you seeing me drive by in my white jazz :P no more lunch with kev in north ryde...no more watching tv at foxtel...it's just plain ol' me in buggery chattie. with no one else workin' round there. workin' part time hours, and still able to take up other activities. it is sort of my dream job, what i quit cognos to hope to get. i will be pretty much doing the same kind of work i did in cognos, except will at least be able to work towards a budget and target. cannot say that's a bad thing. due to start in2 weeks. see how it goes.
anita's wedding drawing near. my shoes have arrived (huge thanks to miyuki who picked them up for me!!) and now for jewellery and bag and maybe a shawl. and i'm Set!
i managed to fumble my way back to corelli's after rehearsals for a 3pm breakfast, before revisiting the place frank recommended for lovely chocolatey goodness. that place does not disappoint. now open fri/sat nites till 11pm! i will be back there soon, no doubt.
sorry for the distance in the past month or so...i will be BAAAAK! after next week's up!
the 3 bruises on my knee now combine to look like an image of a ghost's face peering at me. it hurts to fall repeatedly :( i wish i can consistently do good falls.
and yessiree, i did get a marketing job. it's in chatswood, so derek, no more of you seeing me drive by in my white jazz :P no more lunch with kev in north ryde...no more watching tv at foxtel...it's just plain ol' me in buggery chattie. with no one else workin' round there. workin' part time hours, and still able to take up other activities. it is sort of my dream job, what i quit cognos to hope to get. i will be pretty much doing the same kind of work i did in cognos, except will at least be able to work towards a budget and target. cannot say that's a bad thing. due to start in2 weeks. see how it goes.
anita's wedding drawing near. my shoes have arrived (huge thanks to miyuki who picked them up for me!!) and now for jewellery and bag and maybe a shawl. and i'm Set!
i managed to fumble my way back to corelli's after rehearsals for a 3pm breakfast, before revisiting the place frank recommended for lovely chocolatey goodness. that place does not disappoint. now open fri/sat nites till 11pm! i will be back there soon, no doubt.
sorry for the distance in the past month or so...i will be BAAAAK! after next week's up!
20.2.06
lombada. court dancing. tumbling. collapsing.
that had no relevance to the rest of my post. it just softly rings in my ear while i spend the days staring at contracts a fox. i have now seen more talent contracts and payrates than most people :D some are genuinely quite amazing, some i think aren't worth their while (long hours and too much time away from home)...
back to earth: competition draws near and i feel less than ready. enough said.
Varekai!!! I'm SOOOOO there!
that had no relevance to the rest of my post. it just softly rings in my ear while i spend the days staring at contracts a fox. i have now seen more talent contracts and payrates than most people :D some are genuinely quite amazing, some i think aren't worth their while (long hours and too much time away from home)...
back to earth: competition draws near and i feel less than ready. enough said.
Varekai!!! I'm SOOOOO there!
6.2.06
awesome weekend.
went to travel expo sat morning. not much to see at first, but met dawer's mate, jae, who works at flight centre who gave us some options...
saw a gorgeous pair of bronze peepy-toe shoes. i LOVE it so much...will buy it soon this week as part of the outfit for the wedding in melb. booked train tickets. should be damn fine. will post up pics.
anywho...sunday was a beautiful drive down to jervis bay (admittedly spent most of the time sleeping) for cindy's b'day (kenny's colleague). quite amusing...basically everyone was about my height or taller, except her. at a whopping 140cm (or less, i no shure), she is the tiniest lil' princess you'll get to meet for a long time. shame that the salad she made for me got spoilt. heh, funny, why did i get premonitions of vego stuff-ups like premonitions from tat chick from medium gets? usually i'd just call it weak effort, but she is the birthday girl catering for 30 people so gotta give her credit. luckily i ate maccas before i arrived :D saved by maccas....
i will always miss the times when my real cool mates (usyd group) would have a bbq (ala. pymble house wow-times) and i go there prepared for the worst (can't say i was the "in" person of the group), and the real food critics they were, had prepared a SHITLOAD of delicious salad, grilled vegies and the alike. i don't think anyone can be as cool as them. and everytime there's steamboat, i feel da love. i wouldn't even ask. i still never take true consideration from friends for granted. u got people u socialise with, but u got friends u count on. and those don't come by everyday. i step further and further into this journey called life and family and friends become so much dearer to me. coz there are fakers out there. lots and lots of them.
lovely waves at the beach. played frisbee with the group of grad. mates...they're generally a cool bunch of people. though some are very different from people i hang with, i'm glad i get to spend some time with them. was it aaron i met, and james who asked me if i "enjoyed wed night" (what a random way to start a conversation??? damn i dig that!)
have booked our flights out to london and japan (departing 20 sept), taking advantage of jae's offer of $1420+taxes to fly out to london and back with one stopover in tokyo. FRANK and STELLA (if you're stayin' there), HERE WE COME, in 9 months! :D may also meet up with alicia in uk/germany. that'd be awesome...
now i need to work more and be less choosy :D
went to travel expo sat morning. not much to see at first, but met dawer's mate, jae, who works at flight centre who gave us some options...
saw a gorgeous pair of bronze peepy-toe shoes. i LOVE it so much...will buy it soon this week as part of the outfit for the wedding in melb. booked train tickets. should be damn fine. will post up pics.
anywho...sunday was a beautiful drive down to jervis bay (admittedly spent most of the time sleeping) for cindy's b'day (kenny's colleague). quite amusing...basically everyone was about my height or taller, except her. at a whopping 140cm (or less, i no shure), she is the tiniest lil' princess you'll get to meet for a long time. shame that the salad she made for me got spoilt. heh, funny, why did i get premonitions of vego stuff-ups like premonitions from tat chick from medium gets? usually i'd just call it weak effort, but she is the birthday girl catering for 30 people so gotta give her credit. luckily i ate maccas before i arrived :D saved by maccas....
i will always miss the times when my real cool mates (usyd group) would have a bbq (ala. pymble house wow-times) and i go there prepared for the worst (can't say i was the "in" person of the group), and the real food critics they were, had prepared a SHITLOAD of delicious salad, grilled vegies and the alike. i don't think anyone can be as cool as them. and everytime there's steamboat, i feel da love. i wouldn't even ask. i still never take true consideration from friends for granted. u got people u socialise with, but u got friends u count on. and those don't come by everyday. i step further and further into this journey called life and family and friends become so much dearer to me. coz there are fakers out there. lots and lots of them.
lovely waves at the beach. played frisbee with the group of grad. mates...they're generally a cool bunch of people. though some are very different from people i hang with, i'm glad i get to spend some time with them. was it aaron i met, and james who asked me if i "enjoyed wed night" (what a random way to start a conversation??? damn i dig that!)
have booked our flights out to london and japan (departing 20 sept), taking advantage of jae's offer of $1420+taxes to fly out to london and back with one stopover in tokyo. FRANK and STELLA (if you're stayin' there), HERE WE COME, in 9 months! :D may also meet up with alicia in uk/germany. that'd be awesome...
now i need to work more and be less choosy :D
1.2.06
in recovery from - artist block. can't draw a thing, can't write a thing, feeling like the el-unuseful.
a pic of frank from opera bar, hands full from 2 bottles of drink, on the phone (again!) and...er..a white clutch bag under his arm..
a few housekeeping things. Welcome to Eric and Julya for joining the big bad blogs (at least i only just found out you were typin' away). so, from a period of quiet in blogville, 3 new bloggers sprang up in light of the new year.
oh, did i tell you my capsicum shoots have finally...shot up?a pic of frank from opera bar, hands full from 2 bottles of drink, on the phone (again!) and...er..a white clutch bag under his arm..
a few housekeeping things. Welcome to Eric and Julya for joining the big bad blogs (at least i only just found out you were typin' away). so, from a period of quiet in blogville, 3 new bloggers sprang up in light of the new year.
anywho...back to bed...